Fooling
by Dana1
Summary: Chapter 7 is up! THe Rewritten version of A Different Path Six months ago Adam Banks gave up hockey, and Eden Hall. No one ever knew why. Is he fooling himself on why?
1. Varsity Reunion

Title: Fooling  
  
Author: Dana  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Warnings: Cussing, mention of very bad things that happened. there will be specific warnings for that chapter.  
  
Summary: Six months ago Adam Banks gave up hockey, and Eden Hall. no one ever knew why. Is he fooling himself on why?  
  
Author's note: At my high school when I was younger, we had lunch time study hall and lunch time detention. So that's the basis of what's said at the start of the fic. Also it has the structure of my school. Senior projects, block scheduling and all that good stuff.  
  
Time frame: Senior year. This used to be a fic called A Different Path and then I figured out why and had to change it.  
  
Disclaimer: Disney owns The Mighty Ducks and all associated characters. I claim everyone else.  
  
Varsity Reunion  
  
"Mr. Banks and Mr. Hall are you planning to be late every day this week?" Mr. Adamson their English teacher asked. "Because there's still tomorrow if that's your goal."  
  
"No sir." Jesse said.  
  
"Take your seats." He said. "I will check to make sure you went to lunch time detention."  
  
"Why did we sign up for Mr. Adamson's class again this year?" Adam whispered.  
  
"Because we like torture?" Jesse whispered back.  
  
"Shh." Holly Wakefield, Jesse's girlfriend, whispered. "He's going to tell us about the Senior Projects."  
  
"Miss Wakefield did you want to join Hall and Banks in lunch time detention?"  
  
"No sir." She said and flashed Adam and Jesse glares.  
  
"As I was saying before we were rudely interrupted." Mr. Adamson said glaring in their direction. "The project is 20-40 hours of doing an activity. Then you write an 8-10 page paper. Then there are senior boards where you have to give an 8-10 minute speech. I will be giving you more information in January."  
  
Adam groaned. "Maybe I should have stayed at Eden Hall. We didn't have this kind of work to do."  
  
"And what? Miss out on meeting Brit?" Jesse said referring to Adam's girlfriend Brittany Severn.  
  
Mr. Adamson glared in their direction again. "Take out Beowulf for discussion."  
  
***  
  
In lunchtime detention, Adam and Jesse were working on their math homework. "We going to the Eden Hall game tonight?" Jesse asked.  
  
"They wouldn't want to see me there. They are still mad."  
  
"Well you did quit the team and the school without any warning or any explanation. Heck I don't even know why."  
  
"I told you why. There had to be more to life then hockey."  
  
"Sounds like bullshit to me. I gave you that reason when I quit hockey four years ago."  
  
"Oh so your excuse was bullshit then."  
  
"Well no but…"  
  
"Then why would mine be." Adam asked putting his math homework away. "Okay it's not the reason but it doesn't matter."  
  
"Adam you went from being captain of Varsity to quitting hockey in one year. Don't give me the same reason I gave you." Adam just shook his head. "I think we should go. Introduce Brit and Holly to the game. Maybe they are closet fans."  
  
***  
  
"Hey guys look." Sam Jackson said pointing into the stands. "Our old captain's here."  
  
"Banks?" Russ asked looking around. "He's got nerve coming here after quitting."  
  
"Hey Jesse's there too." Kenny Wu said pointing.  
  
The new Varsity Captain, Charlie Conway who everyone thought should have been captain in the first place, just said, "Come on guys we've got a game."  
  
***  
  
Adam, Jesse, Brittany, and Holly all took their seats in the middle of stands. Jesse and Adam spent the ride there explaining the rules.  
  
"So you played here Adam?" Holly asked.  
  
"Yeah for three seasons." Adam said. He glanced down at the ice and noticed Charlie was now captain. "I realized there had to be more then hockey."  
  
"There is." Jesse said giving Holly a kiss. "I never regretted quitting. But there were times that I wondered if I had made the right choice."  
  
"Isn't there some rule against Varsity captains quitting hockey and going to another school coming back to watch a game." A voice behind them said.  
  
"Shut up Averman." Jesse said without turning around. Then it sunk in. He turned around and looked at the captain of Junior Varsity in surprise. "Hey Averman."  
  
Averman was grinning. "Don't worry I wasn't serious. Aren't you going to introduce me to these ladies?"  
  
"Averman this is my girlfriend Holly Wakefield and Adam's girlfriend Brittany Severn. Holly and Brittany this is Les Averman who somehow managed to make captain of JV."  
  
"I was the only Duck who wasn't moved up. They decided to make me captain." Averman quickly explained. "But I won't quit and change schools after the season."  
  
Adam flinched. It was six months ago and that still hurt. Jesse looked like he was going to punch Averman.  
  
"Hey we are here to watch hockey not talk about the past." Averman said quickly. They didn't hear from him the rest of the game.  
  
The Eden Hall Varsity Ducks won eight to nothing. Holly and Brittany enjoyed the game. "We gotta come back for the next game." Brittany said excitedly as they left the rink.  
  
"I agree Brit. I wish our high school had a hockey team so we could watch them." Holly said.  
  
"Not me. I like the school better without a hockey team." Adam said. Jesse nodded in agreement.  
  
Adam was just about to unlock the doors when he heard Russ say "Well look who's here. The two quitters." Standing with Russ was the rest of the Varsity team.  
  
Jesse came to the driver's side of the car. "What's your problem Russ?"  
  
"My problem is Banks quitting the team without telling us." Russ said. The others nodded in agreement. "Wilson told us that Banks was gone. Just left the school without anyone knowing. And then you both show up at the game."  
  
"Come on let's just go." adam said unlocking the doors.  
  
"It was a good game." holly called as she got into the back with Jesse.  
  
Adam glanced at his former team once more before getting into the car.  
  
"Run Banks like you did before." Portman called. They watched as the car drove off. 


	2. It Didn’t Happen if I said it Didn’t

Notes: Argh! I didn't change my mistake when I rewrote the fic. The game was on a Friday not a Thursday. De LaSalle High School does exist I looked it up. Though it is a Catholic school, it was the only one I could find without a hockey team. I have nothing against catholic schools. I'm catholic. Short part. Giving you a view of what was going through Adam's head.  
  
It Didn't Happen if I said it Didn't  
  
Adam walked up to his room later that night. The game had been fun to watch but afterwards was a nightmare. He knew that would happen if he came to the game. They see me and think of me as a quitter. Did they think of Charlie and Fulton as quitters when they quit? But they did go back.  
  
He packed up and left the whole thing. They didn't know. He knew they didn't know he left. He had his own room. He did tell Coach Wilson and Dean Buckley but that was it. He didn't even tell his parents he was going to quit. He just went home and told them.  
  
He didn't even call Jesse to tell him he was going to be attending his school. He just showed up in his English class.  
  
So maybe the Ducks had a right to be mad. They didn't know what happened. They'd never know either. It was something Adam decided before he quit. There was nothing wrong. He just wanted something else.  
  
What wasn't to be happy with? He had a girlfriend, and a group of friends that didn't care if he was rich or if he had played on the wrong teams. And he enjoyed De LaSalle High School. It was a private school too. He guessed Jesse chose it for the same reason he did. There wasn't a hockey team.  
  
And something inside him nagged him and told him he'd never be happy. There was always something stopping him from being happy. He was put on the Ducks when he was on a winning team, he injured his wrist at the Junior Goodwill Games, he was put on Varsity his freshmen year, he made captain his junior year and then at the state tournament he…  
  
No he couldn't allow himself to remember that. it didn't happen. It couldn't have happened.  
  
So it didn't. 


	3. Who Said I Wanted to Be Captain Again

Notes: Well we know something happened to Adam and that he won't say anything. But you still don't know what it was. You won't find out this chapter either. Because we'll be looking at the Eden Hall Varsity players (Remember Duckies are seniors).  
  
Who Said I Wanted to Be Captain Again  
  
The Varsity Ducks were sitting outside of their dorm building the day after the game. It was mid September and was still nice out. "Can you believe they were there?" Kenny asked.  
  
"I talked to Averman this morning. Those two girls with them are their girlfriends." Goldberg said.  
  
Charlie was barely listening to them. The others seemed to hate Banks but he didn't. He probably should. They expected him to have some kind of tantrum over Wilson naming Adam Captain last year. Honestly, it didn't bother him. In fact, he was relieved. Someone else was captain. Someone else has to deal with the problems that came along with being a captain. Maybe that's what made Adam quit.  
  
God he hoped not.  
  
He knew something had been bothering Adam the day of the championships but he didn't ask. He was quiet during the celebration. He's naturally quiet but to be quiet after winning the state championship? That was wrong.  
  
Then on the ride home he sat by himself and refused to talk to anyone. There was something wrong but instead of telling anyone what was wrong he packed up his stuff and left. He didn't just quit Eden Hall. He quit hockey! Something he never quit at. This troubled Charlie even more.  
  
"So what do you think Charlie?" Julie asked.  
  
"Think of what?"  
  
"Do you think Jesse and Banks should have been there last night?" Julie repeated.  
  
Charlie shrugged. "Nothing can stop them from coming to our games."  
  
"Yeah but they both quit." Portman said.  
  
"Jesse quit because he was tired of hockey. Banks quit because…well because…okay we don't know why he quit but it doesn't mean they should be forbidden from coming to our games." Guy said.  
  
"I agree with Guy. But I think we shouldn't give them a hard time. Something obviously happened at the state championships."  
  
"Yeah he quit." Fulton said.  
  
Charlie rolled his eyes. "Guys it was 6 months ago let it drop."  
  
"You should have been captain anyway." Connie said. "I don't know what Wilson was thinking."  
  
"You got it wrong Connie. I didn't want to be captain then and who's to say I wanted to be captain after Adam left? Something went wrong that night in Saint Paul. We gotta find out what." Charlie asked jumping to his feet and walked away. 


	4. The Truth Comes Out

Notes: Hmm this fic won't be terribly long I don't think. But I could be wrong. Oh yeah this was the chapter I hinted about in the warnings and the next chapter gets the same warning. Cussing is definitely in this fic. And it mentions something that might not be suitable for young readers. If I described it graphically, it would be R-rated. There's a stereotype thrown in.  
  
The Truth Comes Out  
  
Charlie found Adam at the duck pond in his backyard. He walked up to him. Adam turned around. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"Came to see you."  
  
Adam shrugged. "You found me. Now what did you want?"  
  
"Banks…Adam I'm not like the others. I'm not mad at you."  
  
Adam stared at him. "Your not. Well that's a surprise."  
  
"I know the others are pissed but I'm not mad. I'm just worried."  
  
"Worried about what?" Adam asked throwing a rock into the pond.  
  
"You. It wasn't just because you quit hockey. It was the way you were acting the night of the championships and the next day. You were quiet and you didn't even celebrate when we won. Something happened at the tournament didn't it."  
  
"Nothing happened. I just didn't feel like celebrating. I was tired of hockey."  
  
"That's bull shit and you know it."  
  
Adam stared at him in surprise. He understood Jesse seeing through that lie but Charlie? "Something happened but it wasn't anything big."  
  
Charlie stared at him. "Adam tell me what happened."  
  
Adam sighed. He shouldn't tell him. He didn't even tell Jesse or his parents. But Charlie wasn't going to drop it. "I ran into the Duluth County players the night before."  
  
They were the players that Eden Hall faced in the championships. "They beat you up?"  
  
"Yeah." Adam said looking at the ground hoping that it would drop.  
  
"But there were no marks on you."  
  
"Well they made sure of that." Adam whispered. 'Drop it now Charlie!'  
  
"Is that all? That's not saying why. You went through it on Varsity."  
  
"I didn't go through this."  
  
"You didn't go through this? But…"  
  
"Just drop it Charlie. You wouldn't understand."  
  
"I wouldn't understand what? I'm not Jesse but I was your friend."  
  
"No one would understand. It doesn't happen to males."  
  
"What doesn't happen to males?"  
  
Adam was crying. "I was raped."  
  
***  
  
I warned ya! I warned ya! Don't ask where that idea came from. It is a stereotype unfortunately. 


	5. Don’t Turn Around

Notes: Okay since you now know what happened here's a chapter that looks back to six months ago after the team gets back from the State Championships in Saint Paul. This is to Cairnsy. I appreciated the review and well there is a reason why it's called Fooling. I think this chapter will cover your review. Whoops yeah I know about Jesse. Again, I appreciate all my reviews from people. The title of this chapter is loosely based on the song of the same name by Ace of Base. We'll be going back to the correct time next chapter.  
  
Don't Turn Around  
  
Adam quickly got off the bus. He carried his stuff to his dorm. He was glad he didn't share with anyone. He had to get out of hockey and Eden Hall. He started quickly packing his things up. He knew the other Varsity players had gone to the local pizza parlor to celebrate. So he could easily pack everything and sneak out without someone seeing him.  
  
He started putting the awards he had gotten since he came to Eden Hall in the duffel bag that held the state championship individual trophy and the Most Valuable Player trophy. He started throwing his clothes in his suitcases not bothering to fold it. He just wanted out of there. When he had everything in boxes and trunks, he started carrying it out to his car. After that, he had to go tell Coach Wilson and Dean Buckley. Dean Buckley was sad to see him go and tried to talk him out of it. But it was the decision of Banks.  
  
Wilson, as he expected, was in his office. He tentatively knocked. "Come in." He came in. "Hello Banks. Anything I can do for you."  
  
"Well no not really. I just came by to tell you I quit hockey and am leaving Eden Hall."  
  
"You what? Why?"  
  
"I'm tired of hockey." Banks said struggling to keep his voice even. There was no way he was going to tell Wilson what happened to him.  
  
"Any chance of me talking you out of it?" Wilson asked.  
  
"No. Could you tell the others for me? I have to go."  
  
"Not that it's any of my business Banks but shouldn't you tell your friends yourself?"  
  
"Don't have time." Banks said and walked out the door before Wilson could stop him.  
  
He drove back to Edina. It was a Sunday so he knew both of his parents would be home. His older brother was a sports lawyer in Minneapolis and older his sister was a sophomore at the University of California Berkley. He parked his car in the driveway. He left his stuff in the car and went into the house.  
  
"Adam." Sharon Banks said shocked. "What are you doing home?"  
  
"I quit hockey and Eden Hall."  
  
"You what? Phil come in here!" She yelled up the stairs to her husband.  
  
"What? Adam! What are you doing here?"  
  
"I quit hockey and Eden Hall."  
  
"You what?" Phil yelled.  
  
'This was sounding like a bad record.' Adam decided. "I decided I didn't want to play hockey anymore or go to Eden Hall. You didn't make Chris go to Eden Hall." Adam said.  
  
"You're right we didn't. But I always thought you loved hockey. And you seemed to be having fun at Eden Hall." Phil said. "During Christmas break all you could talk about was how great your junior year was going. And you just won the state championships. Why the sudden change?"  
  
Adam knew he couldn't tell his parents. "I don't want to play hockey anymore. And I don't want to be at Eden Hall."  
  
"Okay Adam we understand. Do you want to go to Blake? That's a good private school." Sharon said. She was worried about Adam. Something just didn't seem right with her son.  
  
"I was thinking of De LaSalle High School. It doesn't have a hockey team and Jesse goes there." Jesse was on a track scholarship. He suddenly found a love in shot put and turned out to be very good at it. Anything to get away from Hockey he had said.  
  
"Okay." Phil finally said. "We'll enroll you in the morning."  
  
***  
  
Adam went to his room and started unpacking. He felt like throwing the trophies from the state championships away. He didn't want a reminder of what happened the night before the championships. He almost didn't even go to the final game. He almost stayed in his room but he couldn't do that to the others.  
  
There was a knock on the door. "Adam? Charlie's on the phone." His mother said.  
  
"I don't want to talk to him." Adam said. "Tell him I'm asleep or something."  
  
"Okay." She said and then there was silence.  
  
When he was finished unpacking, he sat down on his bed. He had put the trophies from the state championships on a shelf in his closet. He looked at his reflection in the mirror. He was pale and had circles under his eyes from no sleep. At least he wasn't shaking. He knew he had been shaking after he was attacked. How could he tell the others what happened to him? They wouldn't believe him. He knew he had made the right decision to quit hockey and Eden Hall. He could stay away from situations like that. At least he hoped so.  
  
The next day he walked into De LaSalle High School. The Mrs. Davis, a guidance counselor, smiled at him. "You have quite an impressive record. Honor student and captain of a Varsity hockey team. Not to mention all your other accomplishments as a hockey player. But there is no hockey team here."  
  
"That's okay. I came here because there wasn't one." Adam answered her.  
  
"Well you have a friend here I think Jesse Hall?"  
  
"Yes Jesse's my best friend."  
  
"He's quite an accomplished shot putter. Maybe you'll also like track." She said with a smile. Adam just shrugged.  
  
"Let me give you a tour of the school." She said. After a quick tour, she dropped him off for English with Mr. Adamson.  
  
He walked nervously into the room and handed the teacher his schedule. "Welcome to De LaSalle Mr. Banks. There's an empty seat next to Mr. Hall." He said pointing to a desk in the back of the room. Jesse looked up from his conversation with his girlfriend in surprise when he heard the teacher say Mr. Banks.  
  
"What are you doing here?" Jesse asked as soon as Adam sat down.  
  
"Long story. I'll tell you later." Adam said though he was sure he'd leave out some details.  
  
***  
  
At lunch, Jesse introduced Adam to his girlfriend Holly and her best friend Brittany.  
  
Jesse kept asking for answers to his question but Adam refused to answer. He didn't know the two girls at their table. He picked at his food. He hadn't been eating much since that night. "Cake eater you better tell me sometime." Jesse threatened.  
  
"I will just not now."  
  
Jesse tried to get Adam to talk about hockey but Adam refused to do that. He just shrugged it off.  
  
"My brothers watched the Junior Goodwill Games on TV." Brittany said. "They are major hockey fans. I watched a little bit of it but I must admit I wasn't too impressed. Sorry Jesse and Adam."  
  
"Brit you don't even like football why am I surprised?" Jesse joked. "Don't get Brittany wrong. She's a long distance runner. So's Holly. That's how we all met." He filled Adam in. Jesse finally gave up on a conversation with Adam and started talking to Holly about seeing Friday night.  
  
"My cousin plays for the Duluth County Wolverines." A guy at their table spoke up. "I think Eden Hall beat them Saturday in the finals?"  
  
Adam got up from the table and walked out. "What's the matter man?" Jesse asked when he caught up with him.  
  
Adam knew he was shaking. "I um didn't want to talk about hockey." Adam answered truthfully.  
  
"Why are you here Banks? Don't get me wrong I'm glad you're here but why?"  
  
"I was tired of hockey. There had to be something else in life."  
  
"There is but I didn't think you'd ever quit hockey. Come on what's the real reason?"  
  
"That is the reason." Adam said. The bell ringing signaling the end of lunch saved him. They both had different classes.  
  
"Meet me after school at the gym." Jesse said as he walked to class.  
  
***  
  
Adam's days at the school eventually got better. He and Jesse became even better friends and he started dating Brittany. But he was still haunted every once and awhile by the memory of that night.  
  
***  
  
Notes: I could do another chapter like this later. So much could be uncovered in missing scenes. Hope you enjoyed. The next chapter, It Doesn't Change Anything, will take place right where chapter four ends. 


	6. Songs to Live By

Notes I found two songs that match this fic so well. hands by Jewel and Me By Paula Cole. With the exception of the part that says female that is! a real chapter will be up soon! I do no claim these songs! Just thought they set the mood of the fic  
  
Me By Paula Cole  
  
I am not the person who is singing  
  
I am the silent one inside  
  
I am not the one who laughs at people's jokes I just pacify their egos  
  
I am not my house, my car, my songs  
  
They are only just stops along my way  
  
I am like the winter  
  
I'm a dark cold (fe)male  
  
With a golden ring of wisdom in my cave  
  
CHORUS:  
  
And it is me who is my enemy  
  
Me who beats me up  
  
Me who makes the monsters  
  
Me who strips my confidence  
  
I am carrying my voice  
  
I am carrying my heart  
  
I am carrying my rhythmn  
  
I am carrying my prayers  
  
But you can't kill my spirit  
  
It's soaring and it's strong  
  
Like a mountain  
  
I'll go on and on  
  
But when my wings are folded  
  
The brightly colored moth  
  
Blends into the dirt into the ground  
  
Chorus  
  
And it's me who's too weak  
  
And it's me who's too shy  
  
To ask for the thing i love  
  
And it's me who's too weak  
  
And it's me who's too shy  
  
To ask for the thing i love  
  
That I love  
  
I am walking on the bridge  
  
I am over the water  
  
And I'm scared as hell  
  
But I know there's something better  
  
Yes I know there's something  
  
Yes I know, i know, yes i know  
  
That I love  
  
But it's me  
  
And it's me  
  
But it's me  
  
Hands by Jewel  
  
If I could tell the world just one thing  
  
It would be that we're all OK  
  
And not to worry 'cause worry is wasteful  
  
And useless in times like these  
  
I won't be made useless  
  
I won't be idle with despair  
  
I will gather myself around my faith  
  
For light does the darkness most fear  
  
My hands are small, I know  
  
But they're not yours, they are my own  
  
But they're not yours, they are my own  
  
And I am never broken  
  
Poverty stole your golden shoes  
  
But it didn't steal your laughter  
  
And heartache came to visit me  
  
But I knew it wasn't ever after  
  
We'll fight, not out of spite  
  
For someone must stand up for what's right  
  
'Cause where there's a man who has no voice  
  
There ours shall go singing  
  
My hands are small, I know  
  
But they're not yours, they are my own  
  
But they're not yours, they are my own  
  
And I am never broken  
  
In the end only kindness matters  
  
In the end only kindness matters  
  
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray  
  
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray  
  
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray  
  
My hands are small, I know  
  
But they're not yours, they are my own  
  
But they're not yours, they are my own  
  
And I am never broken  
  
My hands are small, I know  
  
But they're not yours, they are my own  
  
But they're not yours, they are my own  
  
And I am never broken  
  
We are never broken  
  
We are God's eyes  
  
God's hands  
  
God's mind  
  
We are God's eyes  
  
God's hands  
  
God's heart  
  
We are God's eyes  
  
God's hands  
  
God's eyes  
  
We are God's hands  
  
We are God's hands 


	7. I’ll Be There if You Ask

I'll Be There if You Ask  
  
Jesse had been standing back and heard the whole conversation. Neither Charlie nor Adam had noticed him.  
  
'Oh God. Why didn't he tell me?' He wondered. Adam was sitting on the ground sobbing. Charlie had a shocked expression on his face. Charlie looked up and saw Jesse. It seemed to Jesse that Charlie was searching his face for any evidence of him knowing. He shook his head.  
  
Adam looked up at him and quickly wiped away the tears. "How much did you hear?" He asked shakily.  
  
"Most of it. Adam you kept that to yourself for six months?" Jesse asked.  
  
"Yeah well it's not like anyone would believe me." Adam said with a sigh.  
  
"You don't know that." Charlie said.  
  
"Well you guys were able to write me off as a quitter and other things instead of wondering. Besides I almost had myself convinced that it didn't happen."  
  
"Why won't you play hockey?" Charlie asked.  
  
"Hockey's not worth it. I realized that that night. A team thought they could get the advantage by attacking the captain of the other team."  
  
"You are going to let a team destroy your dreams?" Jesse asked.  
  
"Yes no I don't know!" Adam said throwing his hands up in exasperation.  
  
"You know the others would have understood if you had told us." Charlie said.  
  
"My parents don't even know." Adam said tossing another rock into the pond. "I didn't think anyone would believe me."  
  
"We believe you." Jesse said. Charlie nodded.  
  
"So will the others if you tell them." Charlie said.  
  
"I don't know." Adam said honestly. "It was hard enough telling you two."  
  
"Hey Holly's mother is a psychiatrist." Jesse said. "Ever thought of talking to one of them? Maybe there's some kind of support group or something."  
  
"A support group?" Adam asked.  
  
"Sure! I bet they have something like that." Jesse said.  
  
"No. I couldn't join a group."  
  
"Call her and ask or call the mental health building." Charlie said. "Are you ever going to come back to hockey?" He asked changing the subject. "You loved it."  
  
"No. I told you already. Hockey is not worth it if the other team thinks they have to resort to that to win. And I know I can never be happy. Every time I am something happens. I'm too scared to be in a relationship with Brit. I know something will happen to end our happiness it always does."  
  
And they left it at that. 


End file.
